Isolation, interrogation, intimidation
by cein
Summary: 3 x short pieces featuring Tony, using the theme 'epidemics'


3 x short fics exploring the theme 'epidemics'

Title: Isolation

Character: Tony

Spoilers: SWAK

You know, I'd always known that there was a good chance that my job would be the death of me. From the first day I put on my badge as a cop, I knew that I might as well have been putting a bulls eye on my chest. It was a risk that every cop and federal agent took when they swore to 'protect and serve', and I accepted it as the price to be paid for doing a job that I love. And through the years I'd faced death more than once. I'd been shot at, threatened with knives, had people hit me over the head with everything from a wine bottle to a Barbie pink umbrella and boy was that gang banger embarrassed when *that* little nugget of information came out in court later.

Sooner or later I figured my number was gonna come up

I just never expected that it would be as a result of a disease that hadn't been around since the middle ages. I mean, come on, the Plague? It shouldn't even have existed in a lab, but of course some mad scientist decided to cook it up, a chick with a grudge sent it to NCIS, and I ended up flat on my back coughing my lungs up and just waiting for the chant of 'bring out your dead'.

I would have laughed at the absurdity of it, except for the part about not being able to breathe properly. Maybe some day I will be able to look back on it and laugh. I just have to survive that long.

* * *

Title: Interrogation

Character: Tony

You know, this is getting to epidemic proportions, I say out loud. The guard in the corner of the interrogation room frowns at me but doesn't say anything. I know that he's just dying to ask me what the hell I'm talking about, and hey, I'm not about to make somebody wait for me to enlighten them. In the last six years, I've been falsely accused, I pretend to count on my fingers, but in reality each and every time is etched firmly in my mind. Five times.

And that's not counting all the dirt bags who think they can con their way into a plea bargain by claiming police brutality. See technically, an epidemic is defined as when there's a rapid spread or increase in the occurrence of something, and the number of cases exceed what's expected. So if the normal rate of murder accusations against a serving officer is, I don't know, once every ten years or so, I figure I'm waaay above average here, hence the epidemic comment I made earlier.

The guy looks like he's one of those folks who have to take their shoes and socks off to count to twenty, so I decide to confuse him a little more. Of course, once something starts happening regularly as this does to me, I guess it's no longer exceeding what's expected, because everybody expects it. So you should probably just ignore everything I just told you.

I sit back and watch with a smile as he tries to process it. Glancing unobtrusively at my watch, I hide a smile. Any minute now Gibbs will come crashing through the door with proof of my innocence, just like he always does...any minute now.

* * *

Title: Intimidation

Character: Tony

Ah-choo! I exclaim loudly as I watch myself in the mirror. Hmm, not bad I think. Maybe a little bit more of a grimace. I fake another sneeze, this time acting like I'm trying to stop myself making a noise. Ah, now that's better. I let out a few of these in front of the suspect we're trying to put away, and he'll be so antsy he's bound to let something slip. One good thing about the Swine flu scare, everybody gets a bit wary when somebody sneezes, and this guy doesn't leave home without a face mask and rubber gloves.

Course that's partly because his hobbies include walks on the beach, listening to romantic music and oh yeah, a bit of breaking and entering on the side.

But I'm still not sure if it'll be convincing enough, so I'm going to have to test it out. I'll just wait until I'm behind McGee, fake a sneeze, and splash a bit of water on his head. If he shrieks like a girl and runs for the nearest batch of disinfectant then I'll know I've got it right.

Of course the real test would be doing it to Gibbs, but I think I'd rather face Swine Flu, SARS and the Black death all at once than mess with Gibbs's head. Hmm, unless I could make him think it was McGee who sneezed on him. A little bit of pepper at the right time could provide hours of amusement.

I feel a tickle in my nose. Ah-choo! I sneeze for real this time. Uh-oh.

Title: Isolation  
Character(s): Tony  
Pairing(s): n/a  
Genre(s): gen  
Episode(s): SWAK  
Crossover(s): n/a  
Word Count: 260


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